Inside this post we're sharing 7 tips for successful family meetings! Family meetings are a great way to connect as a family, build family unity, and improve communication.
- Why have family meetings?
- What happens at a family meeting?
- How can I get started having regular family meetings?
- What is Modern Manners for Kids?
- What are some tips for successful family meetings?
- How can family meetings work if I have toddlers?
- What do you talk about at family meetings?
- When should we have family meetings?
- Are family meetings always happy and perfect?
- What other questions do you have about holding regular family meetings? Share them in the comments.
We started having daily family meetings almost 10 years ago (when my oldest was 6 and we had a 3 and 1 year old). They have become a daily habit that I absolutely LOVE. They're short and such a positive way to end each day.
Why have family meetings?
There are many reasons for having regular family meetings. Here are some of our reasons for having family meetings:
1. Improves Communication
Regular meetings provide a structured chance for family members to share their thoughts, concerns, and feelings in a safe space.
2. Helps Build Stronger Relationships
Connection and trust is built through regular interactions. Strong relationships don't just happen. They take consistent effort. They remind me of a bank account. Strong relationships can grow when you spend time together and make a positive "deposit" into your bank account.
3. Encourages Problem-Solving
At family meetings you have time to address issues as they come up. This prevents them from escalating and helps you resolve them easier. They are also a great time to teach skills and role play with kids.
4. Promotes Family Involvement
Everyone wants to be part of something. Meeting together as a family can really help your child feel like they are part of the family. Giving them a time to share and participate helps build their confidence. Meeting together as a family can help everyone be unified towards common goals.
5. Creates a Routine for Addressing Issues
Having regular family meetings can reduce anxiety by providing a set time to discuss concerns. It's also a place where you can address issues before they become major problems. If you start family meetings when kids are young, they become a routine that can be helpful as kids grow into teens and more complex topics need to be discussed.
6. Helps with Planning and Organization
At family meetings you can discuss upcoming events, calendars, and more. Planning and working together decreases communication and coordination problems.
7. Provides a Place for Celebrations
Family meetings are a great place to build family unity and celebrate little and big things happening in everyone's lives.
8. Gives a Forum for Sharing Family Stories.
We share a lot of family stories during family meetings. My husband and I talk about challenges we had growing up. We share stories about grandparents and other family members doing hard things. Research shows that knowing family stories can help kids build resilience and deal with stress better.
What happens at a family meeting?
Family meetings are a time for us to connect in a simple way each evening.
Here's what our typical family meeting includes:
- Scheduling: We go over the schedule for the next day/week and talk about anything important coming up.
- Sharing: We highlight anything important that happened, celebrate successes, and share any news. This is a great time to encourage positive behavior that we've seen.
- Problem solving/Teaching: We discuss any challenges or teach any simple skills that we want to emphasize that day. Modern Manners for Kids by Brooke Romney is a great tool to use here.
- Connection: Each person shares a high/low or favorite part of the day and gets a hug.
* We also read a scripture and say a prayer, but many families who try these meetings do a family cheer or another fun bonding activity before bed instead.
How can I get started having regular family meetings?
1. Just start.
Invite everyone into a specific room and say, “We're going to have a family meeting before bed.” That's it. No lead up is necessary, just get started!
2. Decide what you're going to do at your family meeting.
Keep your first meeting simple and short. Start by just sharing positive things you noticed kids doing that day and tell them you love them. Easy! Let them share something good they noticed too.
After a few weeks, add on something else or change it up.
Sometimes we use this simple (affiliate link) Modern Manners for Kids flip book to drive our meetings/conversations (or we use Modern Manners for Teens with my teens).
Often our role playing/problem solving section is inspired by problems we're noticing at the house (ie. clothes aren't getting picked up, kids are saying mean things, etc). Kids can also come to the meeting with questions or their own problems and we can discuss them.
What is Modern Manners for Kids?
Toddler Approved is an affiliate partner with Modern Manners for Kids and Teens.
52 Modern Manners for Kids helps parents proactively teach their children what to do in difficult, sticky, or emotional situations.
These easy to use flip books give us a perfect script to deliberately teach important physical, social, and school manners. There is a "why" included with each manner and scenarios to role play how they look in everyday life.
This is a great way to improve communication and teach skills to kids!
What are some tips for successful family meetings?
- Keep meetings short.
- Meet regularly (daily, weekly, or monthly).
- Make meetings positive.
- Have a purpose.
- Celebrate successes.
- Get everyone involved!
- End on a positive note.
How can family meetings work if I have toddlers?
Keep them short, do something fun together, share positive things you've noticed and end with a hug or a high five before bed.
The goal is to create a habit of meeting.
What you do doesn't really matter. Just keep it positive and be consistent.
When my kids are little we do family meetings and my kids play while my husband and I chat about our plans for the next day. Then we tell the kids something good we noticed that they did or ask them to tell us something they liked doing that day, then we read a story, say a prayer and go to bed.
What do you talk about at family meetings?
Here are a few topics that we've discussed over the years at family meetings:
- Being kind to others
- Being a good friend
- How to solve problems with friends or teachers
- How to keep our house tidy
- How to say sorry and ask for forgiveness
- Screen and phone etiquette/boundaries
- Using good language
- Dealing with bullies
- Being a good example
- Looking out for people who need friends
- Time management
- Dating
- Pornography and how it can be damaging.
- How to be a good communicator
- Being responsible with your belongings and time
- Setting family goals
- Planning family vacations and parties
- Using money wisely
- Sharing homework and studying tips
- Celebrating successes
- Talking about hard topics like death, illness, and job loss
No topic is off limits. Some topics aren't appropriate for all of our kids, so we'll have special family meetings with just the older kids when needed.
Role playing is a great tool for teaching. My kids especially love to act out what NOT to do. I love how Modern Manners for Kids has a script for talking through some of these.
When should we have family meetings?
Family meetings can be held anytime. We have a family meeting every night before bedtime. It's typically 5-10 minutes long, but can sometimes last for 30 minutes.
Sometimes bedtime isn't the best time for meetings, especially with young kids. We also love doing Cookie Chat family meetings once a week after school- with cookies! I highly recommend them!
What time of day would work for you to host a family meeting?
Are family meetings always happy and perfect?
Nope.
Sometimes they're short, everyone's grumpy, and they end quickly.
We just share a highlight (or lowlight of the day)- that's it.
Every once in awhile we argue about the schedule or a tense topic turns into an argument.
But we keep trying and showing up. I only really remember the good parts.
What other questions do you have about holding regular family meetings? Share them in the comments.
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